No Place I'd rather be

No Place I'd rather be
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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Believing and Blessed

Lord, I am tired -allergies...Thanks for waking me up with "Wedding Day"
I look forward to spending forever with You. Help me with teaching the girls. Draw them Lord, let their heartbeat to spend more time with You, mine and Honey's too. Put the desire in Betsy to take care of her body and do they get a longing to know you better, Lord?  How do they know/learn that is the most important thing in this life?  Oh, Father!  I don't want to loose anyone, especially the family that you have given us.  I trust that you will continue to work in our lives and that You too want them to be with you on our wedding day.

I lift up the saints to you this mornng, encourage them, put a song of praise/worship in their hearts this morning.  Draw us nearer to you, equip us, instruct us, give us the words to say; send us out to the harvest and may they be receptive to You and the gospel of Jesus.

John 20
Mary went to the tomb early that day
She ran to the disciples in dismay
"The stone has been rolled away!"

John out ran Peter and looked inside
Peter went in and observed
the linen clothes had been folded
John followed Peter in, he too observed,
but he believed.

The disciples went to their own place
and Mary was left with tears on her face.
When looked into the tomb
she saw two angels in the room,
"Woman, why do you weep?"

Where have you taken the man that I seek?
Was there a rustle behind her that made her turn?
Jesus asked her, "Woman, why are you weeping?
Whom are you seeking?"

Sir, if you've carried him away,
tell me where you have laid Him
that I may take Him away.

She did not recognize Jesus, her Master
She did not know until He spoke her name
She would never be the same
She knew He was LORD

What is it going to take
to make you believe?
Don't be like Doubting Tom
He needed to see and touch Him before he would believe.

"Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe."

Friday, December 30, 2011

Gods Plan to Protect His People (D.Wilkerson)

Gods Plan to Protect His People

God will always protect and preserve His children. He has given us the whole Bible. You see lessons of judgements and lessons of His provisions. Study their history and learn to trust God.

Pray to God :
1. That you will not be deceived
2. That you will clearly hear and  obey God's voice
3. That you will use these times to become more intimate with the Lord
4.That our property and homes remain available for God to use. We want to be ready to harbor other Christians.

The Way of the Righteous and the End of the Ungodly
 1 Blessed is the man         Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
         Nor stands in the path of sinners,
         Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
         And in His law he meditates day and night.

 3 He shall be like a tree
         Planted by the rivers of water,
         That brings forth its fruit in its season,
         Whose leaf also shall not wither;
         And whatever he does shall prosper.

 4 The ungodly are not so,
         But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
 5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
         Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
 6 For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
         But the way of the ungodly shall perish.

The Bride...worships

Psalms 45
10 Listen, O daughter,
         Consider and incline your ear;
         Forget your own people also, and your father’s house;
 11 So the King will greatly desire your beauty;
         Because He is your Lord, worship Him.
The Bride of Christ -D.Wilkerson

This is what stood out to me when I read Psalm 45.  . .

 forget your own people, your father's house....
the King will greatly desire your beauty;
He is your Lord, worship Him.

John 4: 22b-24

Even now the true worshipers are being led by the Spirit to worship the Father according to the truth. These are the ones the Father is seeking to worship him.
 24God is Spirit, and those who worship God must be led by the Spirit to worship him according to the truth.

Thank you for loving me and all that you have created. Thank you for using me and waking me to pray for Jessica...I haven't thought of her in a long time.  Thank you for working in her life and drawing her to you, for protecting her from the evil one. You are awesome and I am in awe of You.
I don't know where Life Church is going, I ask that you would continue to guide and directe the leadership, protect them and their loved ones from the evil one and grant them favor where it is needed. 

I love you.

Thursday, December 29, 2011



I want my steps ordered by you and I want my family's steps as well.

Proverbs 16 (NIV)

1 To man belong the plans of the heart,
but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.

2 All a man’s ways seem innocent to him,
   but motives are weighed by the LORD.

 3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
   and your plans will succeed.

 4 The LORD works out everything for his own ends—
   even the wicked for a day of disaster.

 5 The LORD detests all the proud of heart.
   Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

 6 Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
   through the fear of the LORD a man avoids evil.

 7 When a man’s ways are pleasing to the LORD,
   he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

 8 Better a little with righteousness
   than much gain with injustice.

9 In his heart a man plans his course,
   but the LORD determines his steps.

 20 Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,
and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.

 21 The wise in heart are called discerning,
   and pleasant words promote instruction.[a]

 22 Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it,
   but folly brings punishment to fools.

 23 A wise man’s heart guides his mouth,
   and his lips promote instruction

 24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
   sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

 25 There is a way that seems right to a man,
   but in the end it leads to death.

 26 The laborer’s appetite works for him;
   his hunger drives him on.

 33 The lot is cast into the lap,
   but its every decision is from the LORD.

  1. Proverbs 16:21 Or words make a man persuasive
  2. Proverbs 16:23 Or mouth / and makes his lips persuasive
I commit this next year to You and ask that You would guide our steps. It would be so much easier if You would simply tell me what to do rather than me plotting out what to do. I think it boils down to faith and trust and allowing You to order my steps.

'Wait for Me and I will lead you.'

Lord, I hate the house being so messy. I want a better relationship with my family. I feel like I am the mean, bossy mom. Why don't/can't they choose to do what is best?  Why do I have to lead all the time?  I want everyone to desire a better relationship with each other. 

Oh, Father work in our lives and hearts, change us and make us more like Jesus.  Take our desire away to WASTE time on the electronics. If it's not significant or furthering our walk with You, what is the point? Put a hunger, insatiable desire in our hearts for more of you and to walk closer with You. Deal with us and the things that separate us from being closer to You.

Thank You for leading me and guiding me. I will wait for you.

By March 31, with God's help I will...

Model and lead by example. 
    a. If I take it out, I will put it away.
    b. If I make a mess, I will clean it up as soon as I am done.
    c. I will allow myself to be caught praying and having quiet time with You.
    d. I will encourage and not discourage those around me.
    e. I will choose my words wisely and ask for Your help.
    f. I will choose to do everything with Praise and not Complaints.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Almost done...

Another year is almost gone.  "It's all because of Jesus I'm alive...all because the blood of Jesus Christ" ♫♪

Thank You, Lord, for another day and Your mercies that are new, every morning. I hate being tired  and gouchy like last night.  How can I expect the kids to be nice when they are tired, when I can't do it? Some days I feel so spent and it's when I don't get enough sleep/rest.

I am thankful to be ALONE with you this morning. :) I don't understand this roller coaster of emotions and blue days that I've been feeling.  I imagine it's from leaving my family after Christmas.  I'm getting teary-eyed again. :(  Lord, is it wrong to miss them? I don't know what to do. I give this ache to You. I am thankful to be back home.

Also, I keep worrying about the past and if DH is ok. I give it all to You.  I know You have forgiven me and I am working through forgiving myself. . . whatever that means.  I've tried to forgive myself for all the mistakes I've made b/c I know I have to forgive in order to be forgiven. I think part of all this struggle is coming from when I surrendered all. I felt like I gave my life to you 20 years ago, but  I eventually began living for myself again and doing things my way. I don't remember spending much time with you after my DH and I were married. I remember thanking You for him, but I don't remember sitting down with You and fellowshipping with You. It makes me wonder about that night in NC where I got up after going to bed and felt lead to read the passage that includes "Depart from Me, I never knew you..."  That hurt and scared me. Did I know You, more importantly, did you know me? Maybe it was the fact that I had not pressed into a deeper relationship with You, despite the fact that You were speaking to me and showing me things. Maybe it was  simply a warning to be intimate with You and that things were not progressing as they should have been. .  . Intimacy with You. I wouldn't want it any other way. Even still today I find myself being distracted from You at times. I want to walk with You through every situation and trial. I don't want to live/exist without You. I want to be in constant communion with You. Totally dependant upon You.  I want to be more like Jesus and allow you to work in and through me; I want to be used by You to draw others to You and to bring glory to Your name.

'John 12'

Die to your selfish desire
Die to your selfish gain
Allow Me to live through you,
Despite all the pain.

Anyone who loves his life will lose it,
but he who hates his life in this world
will keep it for eternal life

Jesus  followed Father to death and eternal life. 
We too must die to our selfish gain and be willing to follow Christ, no matter what.

Live to Die:  Live life in such a way that you are dead to your selfish ways and only His way remains. Be sold out for Christ.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways submit to Him and He will direct your path. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Lord, I know that I need to trust you with all my heart and lean on You and not my own understandings. I know Your ways are better than mine and I will choose to follow You. I am still learning to submit all my ways to You and allowing You to direct my path.  I trust that You will continue to help me in this area. Thank You for loving me and never giving up on me. I love You.

Monday, December 26, 2011


Thank You, Lord, for a safe, uneventful trip "home". It was so sad leaving my family behind.  I am thankful that you moved us here and would not trade what we have to be back in Florida.  I think the holiday season magnifies the absence of our family in our everyday lives. I know part of it is the fact that I don't know when we will see them again; work classes prevents us going down very often.

I am so blessed that you are always here and I can talk to you about anything and everything. I know you understand all that I am feeling and I don't have to hide anything from You. I am still stuggling with my past and forgiving myself for being such a rotten person to the wonderful husband You gave me. I know I am forgiven, but I hate who I was back then. Looking back I wonder if I was truly saved. I know I was partly living for myself and not whole heartedly devoted to you. I did not love You with all my heart, mind, soul and strength.  I hope that I am were I need to be today. I love You and am willing to do what You ask me to do. I find peace knowing You will help me through whatever You ask of me.

Thank You for loving me.  I look forward to being with you forever!

Sunday, December 25, 2011


Today we are going home after spending a week with our family.  The time flew by.  Lord, I think the reason it is so hard to say goodbye is because I don't know when I'll see them again. You hold everything in Your hands. Help this not to be a hard goodbye.  I don't want to cry but be happy that we were able to see them and spend some time with them. I can't wait until there will be no more goodbyes. . . when we are with You for eternity. 

Lord, be by our side and direct our steps.  Give us a heart for the lost and dying; may my words and actions make others want more of You.  Draw me closer to You. Keep us from the evil one and bless us indeed, that we may be a blessing to those around us.

oh!  Today is Christmas! :)
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6 NIV  :oD 

It's been so weird having a little Christmas here, there, and everywhere this year; opening gifts before we came, last night, and again today.  Wouldn't it be neat if we lived everyday like it was Christmas?  I guess that is the idea behind  The Nativity Experience.  Elise
 is so excited with the Nativity set that we made.  We packed it up last night to take it home.  It is cute, because, it was crafted by her and part of me doesn't want to give it away. She made a wise man dance, when I pointed out she forgot his arms.  I'll have to add a picture when we get home. 

Thank you, God, for the family you've blessed me with.  I love you.  I'm sorry I've been so lazy this week. I've missed my time with you. :(   Continue to bless Bryce and Paula and Uncle Sonny. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Not knowing, yet knowing

Mom has to go back and have a second mamogram and a sonogram. Give her peace and if there is anything wrong, please touch and heal her body, Lord. I know we all grow old and die, some of us don't get to grow as old as others. Whatever you think is best because, I know you know what would work out for the best.  I hate the thought of her gettng to graduate before me. . . .  I don't understand how Dad and I see things differently in scripture (The dead shall sleep until You come vs. I believe we'll be with You; the saints are the ones you come back to get, not the phyically dead, but those who are dead in Christ. Those who chose to die to their own selves to live for Christ.)  I don't see any point in arguing over it.  What will happen, will happen.

I've missed getting away and I think I miss "holding my Bible and pen".  I like having I everything in one place, but it's not as snuggly. :) 

Lord, I love you and I know that I don't have to record everything that happens or that I do or read. It's for me. In a way, I don't really have to record anything at all, b/c you can bring to rememberance the things that have been've shown me that. I think I now understand how the Gonpels/Bible was written.  I'd love for everything to be destroyed from my past.... I hate my past and all that I did. I never wanted to rehash stuff; I wish we didn't have to do this in Heaven on Judgment Day. 

But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.  For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. (Mt. 12:36-37)

 Lord, give me the words to say. I want to be patient and kind, to speak the truth in love. I want to be perfect, but I know that will never be possible, otherwise we wouldn't have a need for Jesus. :(  Why did you make it this way? I guess is was so we would see our need for a Saviour and that we could never live up to Your expectations. We'd be so arragant and obnoxious if we didn't need anyone or, more importantly, You.  Thank You, You are wise and good and I am thankful to be Your daughter. 

Draw the saints nearer to you Lord, put a desire in their hearts to spend time with you and to know you better than ever. Draw the lost, sick and dying; draw them to the saving knowledge of Jesus and let them see their need for Jesus.  Soften their hearts to Your Word.  Send out labors into the harvest. Use me however to see fit.

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be pleasing to You....

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Visiting Family

It's been a roller coaster ride of emotions the last few days.  Part of me longs to be home with my family and part of me doesn't want to go because I know we'll be sayig goodbye in a week; I hate saying goodbye.  Another part of me doens't want to go b/ct we can't see everyone. I am thankful that I know where almost all of them are going: to live with Jesus for eternity.
My life isn't down there anymore and I am glad, Lord. Somedays I miss Mom and Dad and Paula and access to restaruants; but, I know we are where you want us and I am at peace with it. 

Thank You for being with Your children and walking with them through difficult and easy situations.  It was encouraging to hear how you've been blessing Paula with Your presence and how Bryce has a sense of humor, even though he can't talk or see yet. (When the nurse asked Bryce if he can open his eyes, he nodded and kept them closed. Then she said, will you open your eyes for me. He did so.) I think he's trying to tell them, he's awake and alert, but unable to talk.

I can't wait to see everyone, but I long even more to see You -- face to face and to be held in Your arms and hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"  I don't feel like I do so well most days. I am trying to "walk in the Spirit" and talk with you about everything, but I fall short. . . thank you for always being here for Me.

Please guide our steps as we go home to visit our loved ones. Keep us safe as we travel and keep our animals healthy and safe while we are away. Please protect our earthly possessions, but if someone needs them, please don't let them tear things up as they go. Is that silly to pray? Nothing here is important. In fact while I cleaned the fridge recently, I had a good laugh. I'd thought, "If someone breaks in, at least they won't think we are slobs....  The fridge looks so nice and clean. How does it get so dirty!?!  I guess that is what our life is like. We let things go, stuff our life full of things, let things linger longer than they need to, and even forget to throw stuff out. Search me, Lord, rid me of the junk/garbage in "my" life. I love you and want to live a life that pleases You. 

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Merry Christmas~Happy Birthday Jesus!

Isaiah 12

Songs of Praise
 1 In that day you will say:
   “I will praise you, LORD.
   Although you were angry with me,
your anger has turned away
   and you have comforted me.
2 Surely God is my salvation;
   I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense;
   he has become my salvation.”
3 With joy you will draw water
   from the wells of salvation.
 4 In that day you will say:
   “Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name;
   make known among the nations what he has done,
   and proclaim that his name is exalted.
5 Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things;
   let this be known to all the world.
6 Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion,
   for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.”

Today we celebrate, as a family, the gift of Jesus. Help the children to remember that You are the greatest gift of all.  Thank Tou, Jesus, for coming to save us all..I love  you.  Thank Lord for all that you have given me and for the blessing of counting You as my Savior and Friend.

Help me to better dwell at your feet and may my heart beat, be as one with yours. Thank you for continuing to guide me in my life and prayer requests.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

More on Galatians: Labor in birth again....

Chapter 48 But then, indeed, when you did not know God, you served those which by nature are not gods. 9 But now after you have known God, or rather are known by God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggarly elements, to which you desire again to be in bondage? 10 You observe days and months and seasons and years. 11 I am afraid for you, lest I have labored for you in vain.
12 Brethren, I urge you to become like me, for I became like you. You have not injured me at all. 13 You know that because of physical infirmity I preached the gospel to you at the first. 14 And my trial which was in my flesh you did not despise or reject, but you received me as an angel of God, even as Christ Jesus. 15 What] then was the blessing you enjoyed? For I bear you witness that, if possible, you would have plucked out your own eyes and given them to me. 16 Have I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth?
17 They zealously court you, but for no good; yes, they want to exclude you, that you may be zealous for them. 18 But it is good to be zealous in a good thing always, and not only when I am present with you. 19 My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you, 20 I would like to be present with you now and to change my tone; for I have doubts about you.
Two Covenants
21 Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not hear the law? 22 For it is written that Abraham had two sons: the one by a bondwoman, the other by a freewoman. 23 But he who was of the bondwoman was born according to the flesh, and he of the freewoman through promise, 24 which things are symbolic. For these are the[d] two covenants: the one from Mount Sinai which gives birth to bondage, which is Hagar— 25 for this Hagar is Mount Sinai in Arabia, and corresponds to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children— 26 but the Jerusalem above is free, which is the mother of us all. 27 For it is written:

      “ Rejoice, O barren,
      You who do not bear!
      Break forth and shout,
      You who are not in labor!
      For the desolate has many more children
      Than she who has a husband.”[Isaia 54:1}

28 Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are children of promise. 29 But, as he who was born according to the flesh then persecuted him who was born according to the Spirit, even so it is now. 30 Nevertheless what does the Scripture say? “Cast out the bondwoman and her son, for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman.”[f] 31 So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman but of the free.

It appears that Paul is rebuking the young Galatian believers in Christ; He went so far as to say that he must labor again for them, because they turned back from following Christ, until Christ is formed in them.  He reminds them of the differences between being in bondage and being free through a promise. As well as they were meant to be free.  Paul also reminds us that the ones who were born according to the flesh will persecute the ones born of the Spirit. 

LORD, how can it be that they followed you and turned away only to be called back again? Isn't that what we consider backslidding.  So, it is possible and this is one example. The more I think on it the more I think the ones grounded in a relationship with You (Christ) will less likely fall, but we must all work out our salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in us both to will and to do for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12-13)   No one else can do it for us.

Thank you that Your mercies are knew every morning and that you are faithful to the faithless

 2 Timothy 2:11-13
11 This is a faithful saying:

      For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
       12 If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
      If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
       13 If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
      He cannot deny Himself.

'I will not deny those who call Me Lord and serve Me. I will deny those who call Me Lord and (yet) go their own way.'  They aren't truly calling You 'Lord' of their life, but rather the hypocrite....the one who appears holy on the outside and yet is still impure on the inside.  They might even cast out demons in the name of Jesus, but they don't KNOW You intimately or personally.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Thank you for a good night sleep and for let Michael's fever break during the night. He was so hot last night. It was sweet that he wanted to cuddle because he didn't feel good. He's growing up so fast; he won't let me call him my baby any more.

Help me to get everything that needs to be done, done.  Direct my day Lord. Forgive me for being lord over my day. I want you to lead us. . . .

Galatians 1:10-12, 2:6b " I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men,  I would not be a bondservant of Christ. But I make known to you, bretheren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. For I neither received it from man, nor was taught it, but it came through the revelation fo Jesus Christ."
"God shows personal favortism to no man -- for those who seemed to be something added nothing to me." 

Paul confronts hypocrisy (Gal.2:11-21) Just as Paul was hard against Jesus before his revelation of Jesus, he was just as hard in the opposite direction afterwards, fighting for Jesus.

Gal. 2:16-21 (NKJV)
 16 knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law NO FLESH shall be justified.
17But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! 18 For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. 19 For I through the law died to the law that I might live to God. 20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. 21 I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.”

Gal. 3:24-26
Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. 25 But after faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. 26 For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 
 Gal. 4:8-9
8 But then, indeed, when you did not know God, you served those which by nature are not gods. 9 But now after you have known God, or rather are known by God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggarly elements, to which you desire again to be in bondage?

Paul was taught by God, not man.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Forgiveness . . .

Lord, I remember as a child asking you to repeatedly forgive me whenever there was an alter call. . . for what, I didn't really know. I knew I wanted to go to live with You for eternity and not in the Lake of Fire with Satan.   There were several times I felt Your presence and knew You were with me and it was always related to worshipping You with my eyes closed and focused on You.  I wish I had done it more and grown in my relationship with You, but no one taught me to pray, outside of our nightly "Now I lay me down to sleep..."  My Dad was learning to and doing the best he could and I didn't hear about it at church. 

I regret letting myself walk/be drawn away from Your love.  I wish I'd "known" it was you whispering the words of encouragement to me when I was a child. I never "pondered" things back then. Thank you for the countless times you've saved my life and never giving up on me. I wish I'd seen the near death misses and understood you were there to making sure I made it. I remember having dreams of missing the rapture of the saints the moon changing colors, but I didn't go. It was when I wasn't living for You, but myself.  

I just remembered about how at a youth lock in I learned about "waiting for a mate" and "date for a mate". And at another time, I learned that there was a throne in my heart and that either Satan could be king, or my self or Jesus.

I've been struggling with "when did I truly get things right with you?"  I walked to the alter at nineteen, after "my world" fell apart and my friend Meredith kept calling me to come to church with her. But even though I surrendered all, I began living for me/DH. I was discipled, learned how to pray , loved praise and worship and being with You. DH and I were married and nothing really changed in Our relationship. I remember us following our youth pastor's lead after we were married, of meeting early to pray and spend time with you. I feel closer to you now than back then. 

I remember when You showed me in a series of dreams that we'd have our first child. You even gave me her name.  I wrote it down, but didn't understand all the dreams until after she was born.  You told me about the c-section and gave me her name.  I felt so far away from you when I disobeyed you and had a misscarriage b/c of my disobedience.  You knew that would happen and I believe you were trying to save me the heartache by telling me not to allow things to happen between me and DH that night. I wanted another baby and chose not to listen. It was a long time before I felt close to you again. I remember that it wasn't long after the miscarriage when we found out I was pregnant with our second daughter.  We were in between churches and w/o a church family. It was lonely. We prayed for her name and tried to figure out what we should name her and again we had a name.  I am still amazed at Michael and the fact that Elise was praying for another baby.
 I remember you asking me if I wanted more and I said, "Yes, but DH doesn't want anymore."  At one point I'd thought I was pregnant and asked  You, "if we were going to have another baby?"  When you told me yes, I asked you for the name and you gave me a name for a boy. I was confused and dissappointed when I started my cycle. I didn't understand why you'd give me a name for a baby that never made it.  I didn't realize until later, when I was pregnant with him, that my question wasn't "Am I pregnant and going to have a baby?"

I guess, the fact is that I've grown in my relationship with you. I'll never forget the night in NC when Betsy was a baby. You lead me to the scriprue that said "Depart from Me, I never knew you." even though they called you Lord and cast out demons in Jesus name. You told them to leave, you never knew them.  I felt like you were saying the same thing to me. I worked hard on getting to know you better after that.  

I wish I could say I talk to you about everything and that I am faithful in praying without ceasing. I am trying to get there, but it's not easy. Thank you for Your faithfulness and never giving up on me.

I love you, Lord, and I am grateful to have you as my Savior and Friend.

Sunday, December 11, 2011


A dear friend is at the hospital with her husband.  He had a bleeding stroke Friday night.  They've already drained off the blood and he is in a coma for five days.  I can't imagine what she must feel. I pray that she is surrounded with God's peace and resting in Him. I wonder how I would hold up, but have no desire to find out.

Lord, thank you that you are there with them and ministering to them.  I wish I could be there, but there is nothing I could do. But you are our Healer and Comforter and I leave them in Your capable hands. Thank you for them and what you are going to do in their lives. Keep a hedge of protection around this family. Minister to the children as well and give them peace.  Let him fully recover and have no loss of skills. In Jesus' name.

John 20:17
  Mary Magdalene Sees the Risen Lord
          Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to Me, for I have not yet ascended to My Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and to My God and your God.’”
The Apostles Commissioned
   19 Then, the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled,[c] for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you.20 When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.
21 So Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.22 And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.
 I recall no record where they You to forgive them of their sins. They believed and were saved ( plus they saw You too) and then you sent them out as Father sent You.  

Lord, I've chewed over this verse (23) off and on for quite some time and in the way we are to pray by looking at your examples:
John 5:6-9  When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?
7 The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.”
8 Jesus said to him, Rise, take up your bed and walk.9 And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.

 For this reason the Jews persecuted Jesus, and sought to kill Him, because He had done these things on the Sabbath. 17 But Jesus answered them, “My Father has been working until now, and I have been working.
18 Therefore the Jews sought all the more to kill Him, because He not only broke the Sabbath, but also said that God was His Father, making Himself equal with God. 19 Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner. 20 For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel. 21 For as the Father raises the dead and gives life to them, even so the Son gives life to whom He will. 22 For the Father judges no one, but has committed all judgment to the Son, 23 that all should honor the Son just as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him.
24Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life. 25 Most assuredly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God; and those who hear will live. 26 For as the Father has life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have life in Himself, 27 and has given Him authority to execute judgment also, because He is the Son of Man. 28 Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice 29 and come forth—those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation. 30 I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me."

Earlier this year when I read John 10:34,  I was reminded, "You shall have no other gods before Me ."
Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your law, ‘I said, “You are gods”’?[c] 35 If He called them gods, to whom the word of God came (and the Scripture cannot be broken),

Jesus didn't ask for healing, He commanded healing. Peter did the same thing in Acts 3:8 ( “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.”). I've experienced You answering my prayers as well in the smaller things in my life. Some instant and some, like the fig tree, didn't happen immediately. Father, I want to glorify You and Jesus. I want more of You, to walk closer to You, and to be used by You!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Big switch...

I've journaled off and on for years. After listening to Gileade Lane this past weekend, I decided to try this out.

I think I'll mostly journal what I learn from God and stuff that I normally journal.

That's it. My first entry. Kind of boring, but who's going to read it but me. ;)